After all, they said, what does Hawaii know about attacks on American soil?
Nicholas Kamm / AFP / Getty Images
You won’t regret clicking on this post, I swear.
BuzzFeed asked people to share their most secret sexual fantasies. Here are their open, honest, and very creative answers.
Tania Guerra for BuzzFeed News
When it comes to sexual fantasies, our minds can go to some weird, creative, and unexpected places. Since a lot of people have fantasies that they would never tell a partner — or even want to carry out in real life — other people's fantasies are pretty much a mystery. And because of that, you might feel like you're the only one in the world who fantasizes about a certain thing.
In hopes of ~demystifying~ the sexy and private inner worlds of other people, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe the nitty-gritty of their favorite sexual fantasies. And keep in mind: Your sexual fantasies are not bad or shameful. It's perfectly natural to fantasize about some wild scenarios — even ones that you have no desire or intention to carry out IRL.
Here’s what they said.
"I want a hot guy go down on me and make me come while my boyfriend watches so he can finally learn how to do it right."
—19/Female/Heterosexual
"To have a supernatural power to sleep with anyone that I choose and meet. Make them want to sleep with me regardless of their orientation. And have them have sex with me."
—30/Male/Gay
Murder most horrid.
Photo courtesy of Lisa Daugherty
Huntsville, Mo PD
"This story blew my mind. It has all the gripping elements of a powerful crime tale – three mysterious deaths, a man apparently framed, a cold-blooded possible culprit, and police and legal ineptitude.
"Through a detailed look at several crimes, the writer Jeannette Cooperman makes all the details thud into place, pointing to the disturbing conclusion that a woman may have been getting away with murder. And like so many of these stories, the evidence may have been there in plain sight."
O'Fallon, Mo PD
"The backdrop to this dark and tragic story is the global financial crisis of the '00s. Several unemployed men, desperate for work, were lured to the farm of serial killer Richard Beasley by an attractive job ad he posted on Craigslist.
"The writer, Hanna Rosin, paints a detailed portrait of the victims, which makes the story all the more harrowing. She portrays men with hopes, dreams, and families, who had fallen on hard times and then fell prey to a psychopath when they were at their most vulnerable."
– Becky Barnicoat
The Atlantic
“Nothing about her top was inappropriate.”
They live in Kansas.
Isabella Villegas
Isabella Villegas
"I went into school and I received some looks from teachers, just not nice looks," she said. "Instantly I was like, Okay, I’m going to get dress-coded, and I felt the need to change."
The middle schooler added that even though she did not get into formal trouble, several teachers commented negatively on the top.
The school did not immediately respond to BuzzFeed News' request for comment.
Grace ended up changing into an extra shirt she'd brought to school with her.
Isabella Villegas
Eating like a ~healthy person~ has never been easier.
Basically just mix and match your way to healthy meals you can take on the go.
mealpreponfleek.com / Via mealpreponfleek.com
Your coffee needs should never get in the way of your protein needs, and vice versa.
Listotic / Via listotic.com
Of course everyone's appetite is different, but these suggestions can be so helpful for anyone who's trying to put some more thought and planning into the way they eat throughout the day.
Body Mind Soul / Via bodminsou.com
Another opportunity to mix and match items from each category. And voilà: a healthy, filling lunch to bring to work.
Lexi's Clean Kitchen / Via lexiscleankitchen.com
LEGO forks, golden pineapples, and a helpful hedgehog: How far can *you* get without buying something?
We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.
Jenny Chang / Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed
I am your host, Jeff. I’m back for this week! The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something.
Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.
Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!
DANGER! THERE MIGHT BE SOME PUNS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! GOOD LUCK, ALL! 😀
Seems screwy...
Get one from Amazon for $40.
Personally, I think it adds a little charm.
Get one of your own from Littionary on Etsy for $30
I AM SCREAMING.
Justin Sullivan / Getty Images
Saul Loeb / AFP / Getty Images
MSNBC
I have no idea why I’m laughing at this.
There may be something there that wasn’t there before.
Disney
Disney
(This will not be the first time you look at Belle and think, Wow, get a load of THIS hipster.)
Buyenlarge / Getty Images
Buyenlarge / Getty Images
Pro tip: Don’t lie on the internet. People will know.
Yearbook quotes in the US: “I will succeed”. Yearbook quotes in the UK: “I pooed myself in PE”.
Chris Hondros / Getty
It’s not about how old you are, but how old you feel.
Saturday was Trump’s tenth visit to a golf course in his eight weeks as president.
Manuel Balce Ceneta / AP
![On Saturday, the president visited Trump International Golf Club. The White House told pool reporter Ben Kamisar of The Hill that Trump would be "be having meetings and phone calls [at the club] before returning to Mar-a-Lago."](http://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-03/18/17/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane-02/sub-buzz-27353-1489870870-6.jpg?resize=625:467)
(A member of the media travels with the president as part of the "press pool" to document his activities for the public record).
Manuel Balce Ceneta / AP
Skills include: crying during Marley & Me.
Joey Adams
"Ever since we got back from Christmas break my roommate had been talking about how she needed a date to her formal, but she has been studying so hard for the MCAT that she hasn't been able to go out and meet people. She kept complaining so I decided to take matters into my own hands! I told her the night before I posted it on Facebook that I came up with the perfect way to find her a date. She thought it was hilarious and agreed that I could post it."
:: takes notes ::
Or at least, they think they do.
Handmadepictures / Getty Images / Via gettyimages.com
*His way, obviously.
anthonybourdain / Via instagram.com
“Soccer is the world’s favorite sport.”
DreamWorks Pictures
That's Gwen Stefani and Marilyn Manson if you can't tell.
DreamWorks Pictures
DreamWorks Pictures
DreamWorks Pictures
THE DEFINITIVE RANKING.
If this was a race and feminism was the finish line, Aurora would be the person who falls just past the start line, shrugs it off, sits on the lawn, and starts putting little flowers in her hair. The only things Aurora does in the movie are not talk (she's one of the Disney princesses with the fewest lines of dialogue), sleep for a solid 75% of her movie, and wait for the prince to wake her up from her nap with a kiss. And none of this is ever a personal choice: Aurora has less autonomy than a chair.
Moral of the story: No feminism.
Disney
Speaking of sleeping, here we have the most spineless princess in the entire Disney universe.
Snow White has to run away because, according to a mirror, she's prettier than the queen. Snow White escapes after they try to murder her, and a group of friendly animals lead her to a house inhabited by seven dwarves. So...what is the first thing dumb Snow White does when she enters a house that belongs to seven guys? She starts cleaning it until it's spick and span.
Moral of the story: No feminism.
Disney
Cinderella is a woman who lives as a servant in her own home, and who is forced to do all the necessary house chores in a big-ass house that probably measures about 2,000 square feet. TBH, Cinderella is so far removed from the world, she probably thinks "feminism" is just a new brand of detergent.
Her only chance at dignified survival is asking her fairy godmother for a pair of heels and a nice dress so she can go to the ball and find some rich guy who can rescue her from her miserable life. And, since Cinderella is pretty (yay!), she gets the rich guy (a prince, no less) to notice her, even though she has to leave before midnight so that no one suspects that she's actually so poor that her best friends are a bunch of rats. In the end, everything is resolved: There's nothing like running away with a rich guy you just met for, like, 15 minutes, and who (although he can't even remember your face) has a fixation on your feet to pull you out of poverty!
Moral of the story: No feminism. Fetishism.
Disney
Ariel has a few strong points: She's a nonconformist, she cares about stuff, she's creative, and she's constantly questioning the excessive self-righteousness of her father, the Asshole of the Seas. But she also decides to give up her greatest talent (her voice) so she can go and hang out with some hunk she only saw for two minutes and never even spoke to.
Most of her decisions don't seem to be well thought out (maybe because she's 16), and they always have one thing in common: guys. She escapes to get away from a guy (her father) and go meet another guy (Eric). Booooo, Ariel.
Moral of the story: No feminism.
Disney
BuzzFeedVideo / Via youtube.com